


Use the Force, Ed!

by BlueTeller



Series: BlueTeller's FMA stories [8]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Humor, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-23
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-15 06:59:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28934412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueTeller/pseuds/BlueTeller
Summary: Imagine Fullmetal Alchemist happening in Star Wars universe... with the characters using their lines? What is this madness!
Series: BlueTeller's FMA stories [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141709
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	Use the Force, Ed!

**Author's Note:**

> **A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...**

**(CAUTION: Randomness! Nonsense parody alert!)**

* * *

_"Use the Force, Ed..."_

*CLAP*

* **BOOM!** *

_"THAT WAS NOT WHAT I MEANT!"_

"Ha! I knew **using force** is always the answer!"

* * *

"Ling Yoda, I got you your food! Now, will you _finally_ teach me how to make a Philosopher Stone?"

"Heh heh, nope!"

"...huh?"

"You see, I'm not even an alchemist!"

"Wait, WHAT!"

* * *

**"IT'S A TRAP!"**

"Admiral Armstrong, will you _stop stripping for once_...!"

"YOU DO REALIZE THAT THE ART OF WARNING OTHERS OF **TRAPS** THROUGH STRIPPING HAS BEEN PASSED DOWN MY FAMILY LINE FOR **GENERATIONS**!"

* * *

"Sensei, I see a wall in the clouds..."

"That's Fort Briggs. A place where only the fittest can survive. I managed a whole month in the middle of winter!"

"Whoa! I wanna go there!"

"Not before you finish your training, you brat! **Fifty laps around the house!** And don't forget to get the groceries after you're done!"

"Yes Sensei!"

* * *

"Admit it, Leia Hawkeye, you're attracted to me!"

"Just get back to steering, Han Mustang, sir, or I'll shoot you."

* * *

"Sensei... Is Father my father?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"No, I mean... Is _Father_ my _father_!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"I'm asking if Father is my... oh, forget it! They're both Bearded Bastards anyway."

* * *

"AAAAAH! MY HAND!"

"Calm down-"

"YOU CUT OFF MY FREAKING HAND! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!"

"What's the problem? It's just your automail arm, right?"

"I'd be better off if you cut off the real one! Winry's going to kill me! I meant it, **you're going to pay for this**! **_Literally_**!"

"It would have never happened if you weren't so stubborn! Why don't you just agree to join me? Together we can overthrow the Fuhrer and bring balance to this country!"

"I'll never join you!"

"Obi-Hughes Kenobi never told you what happened to your brother!"

"He told me enough! He told me **you** killed him!"

"No, **I am your Brother!** "

" **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-!** ...wait. _Al_?"

"Yup. Hi Brother!"

"Alphonse! Whoah, I didn't recognize you! What the heck happened to you? Why are you wearing that helmet and armor?"

"I lost my body during Human Transmutation to resurrect our mother. Unfortunately, my soul's all that was left of me."

"That's too bad. I'm sorry, Al..."

"At least I'm still taller than you."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BEAN-SIZED MIDGET WHO'S SMALLER THAN A MOUSE DROID!"

"I didn't say anything like that, Brother."

"Whatever. But what's with the ominous breathing, Al? Do you even need to breathe?"

"Well, um, that's... uhhh, you see..."

* _Mew._ *

"..."

"..."

"...There's a sign 'No Animals Allowed' on the door, Al."

"Dammit."

**Author's Note:**

> Original Author's Note:
> 
> ...Because making sense is totally overrated xP
> 
> I've had this on my computer for a while, but... I don't know, I didn't think of posting it before now. I just had a good laugh writing it.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please like, favorite and review, if you can, but most importantly - read on and enjoy! ;)


End file.
